


So don't walk away, love

by Vyskalia



Series: Dead in the Water [4]
Category: Oasis (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Dialogue, Gallaghercest | Liam Gallagher/Noel Gallagher Incest, Light Angst, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Sibling Incest, Tea and Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:54:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27448933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vyskalia/pseuds/Vyskalia
Summary: Noel is sad and Liam is......Liam.   They need to workthis thingout, so there is tea and talking and they just can't live with each other....or without each other.  Or can they?
Relationships: Liam Gallagher & Noel Gallagher, Liam Gallagher/Noel Gallagher
Series: Dead in the Water [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965613
Comments: 7
Kudos: 50





	So don't walk away, love

**Author's Note:**

> So, on we go.  
> Dialogue-heavy as per. I wasn't sure what to do about the fact that Debbie is effectively getting cheated on, poor gal..... I guess in my head the boys don't class it as cheating because, hey they got bigger problems on their hands. I don't know. 
> 
> Sex scenes plus feels is brutally difficult to write, no one warned me, holy shit, sorry in advance.
> 
> Comments make my day :D

*

''This can't be a good idea.'' Noel frowned and looked over his shoulder shiftily, scratching the back of his neck for the tenth time that minute.  
''Calm down, what's going to happen?'' Liam replied irritably. ''Think all the paparazzi in the world are going to appear just because me and you have gone for a brew in a cafe?  
''Yes,'' Noel said simply. ''Yes, I do.''  
''That ego's out of control man,'' Liam stretched his feet under the table and yawned, ''this ain't 1997 y'know.''  
Noel glared at him and lowered his head as the girl behind the counter glanced over at them. Liam tutted and kicked him under the table. ''Chill the fuck out would you. This place is dead, no one ever comes in. I reckon it's a front for summat.''  
''What?''  
''You know, for smuggling or something. Or it's run by coppers. Like a spy hideout. I don't know do I?'' Liam looked around at the tired decor and dirty floor, the signs that this dingy little cafe was barely making enough money to stay open. ''Like I said, no one ever comes in.''  
''Well, one of the spies could at least whip round with a mop sometime.'' Noel looked disparagingly at the layer of dust on the ketchup bottle next to him. ''Thanks for recommending this shithole, I'll definitely be back.''  
''Always fucking whinging,'' Liam's eyes were lit with something like contentment as he spoke, ''listen to you, old geezer moaning about mops.''  
''Shut up.''  
''You shut up. Drink your tea.''  
Noel took a sip and grimaced. ''That's not tea. That's not anything. Fuck me, what do they put in it?''  
Liam grinned. ''Shit, ennit? S'what you deserve. Anyway, what's going on?''  
''What d'you mean?''  
''Come on, don't give me that. What the fuck is going on with all these dramas man, turning up pissed at mine, stuff about Sara....out the fucking blue, like? What you playing at?''  
Noel scowled at him. Liam folded his arms across his chest and leaned back, waiting for a reply. After a long minute of silence he clicked his tongue. ''Right, should have known, you aren't going to talk about nothing. Eight years of fucking nothing, and now let's meet up for some more nothing, over a fucking cup of pisswater tea.''  
''Eight years.'' Noel said quietly, looking down at his hands in his lap. Liam watched him, expressionless.  
Noel repeated the words. ''Eight years. No wonder Mam's furious.''  
''She's only furious with you,'' Liam pointed out. ''Me and her are tight still. She knows I'm a good lad''  
''Cunt.''  
''Twat.''  
''I didn't turn up at yours anyway,'' Noel continued, ''not like you mean. I was sent there, wasn't I? Not like I had much choice.''  
Liam's gaze flicked to the window. ''Did you have a choice about hopping straight back into bed with me like a-''  
''Shut the fuck up.'' Noel narrowed his eyes. ''Sara sent me to your house, because she's been putting two and two together for months now, then I went spouting some....some nonsense when I was off my face, and I've probably fucked everything up with her now - so, no, just so you know, I would never have been at your house out of _choice_.''  
''Right.'' Liam's eyes were cold blue; his mouth a sullen line. ''Never your fault is it. Nothing's ever your fucking fault.... _oh, Sara made you do it_. Sara didn't make you do nish, ain't like she was there telling you to -'' he paused and leaned his elbows on the table, ''whatever. Fuck it. What have you done anyway? What did you say to her?''

  
The tea had arrived at their table tepid and unpalatable. It was cold and undrinkable by the time Noel finished explaining. Explaining the song. The months of increasing tension between him and Sara. His hazy memories of That Night; how he'd let his mouth run away with him, explaining Sara's furious tears the following day, and how he'd shuffled around the big house in the country on his own for a week, feeding the cat and wondering where his life had gone to. He missed out the evening when he'd called Donavan and Sonny, listened to stories of chalets and the Alps and how boring it was going to be when they got home, and then lied gently to them when they asked why Mum wasn't at the house with him. That night he had drunk more than he could remember, and chainsmoked until his throat burned.

  
Liam was miraculously quiet as Noel ended the story. He leaned back in his chair and tucked his hands deep in his pockets, staring out of the window at the drizzle falling in an empty little back street. Noel could see the tension in his posture, his jaw clenched to keep quiet. It occurred to him how much time had changed them both; he would never have believed the day would come when Liam could have held his silence for so long. Or restrained himself when he clearly wanted to give Noel a piece of his mind.  
They were so much older, Noel realised; Liam was no longer a baby who needed protecting, or a troublemaking teen who needed a slap, but a real adult. Just hidden in the disguise of Noel's idiot kid brother. Who now had some new lines around his eyes and a few extra inches across his shoulders. His grown-up kid brother; who might not be such an idiot anymore. When had that happened? And had it really taken eight years of separation for Noel to even notice?

  
It was shocking somehow, like Noel was just being let into a secret that no one had told him about. He rubbed his forehead, feeling foolish for a reason he couldn't quite put his finger on.

  
Liam blew his cheeks out and laughed suddenly.  
''I fucking told you she'd never forget Germany.'' He grinned, but Noel could hear the bitterness in his tone.  
''Yes. Yes, you did.'' Noel was annoyed. ''Well done, you.''  
''Nah,'' Liam said, ''I mean, it was always going to be The Thing, ennit? If the shit ever hit the fan, it was always going to get dragged up, you know what I mean?'' He shrugged. ''Just saying.''  
''Maybe just don't then, yeah?'' Noel said. ''You asked what happened, I fucking told you. So there we are.''  
Liam looked at him then, an expression in his eyes that made Noel shiver. ''Yeah,'' he said softly, ''there we are. Here we are.'' He didn't look away as Noel shifted in his chair and closed his eyes. ''Always ends up like this, don't it? Back here, just us.''  
Noel thought of his life back home. The image came to him; of Sara's warm smile as they both watched Donovan lift little Sonny up onto wobbly legs, beaming as he toddled him along with uncertain steps. Images of his blissful, normal life. The pain in his chest was heavy as lead, and he felt angry, suddenly. Angry at Liam. Because, of course, who else? It was always Liam who brought him to a standstill, always Liam who barged into Noel's line of vision and distracted him from his life. His real life. The resentment stuck in the back of his throat like a splinter. He opened his eyes, wishing he could just jump up and punch his brother in the face. Just like when they were younger. When anger and love could be simple and violent and easy.

  
''Bet she still loves you, you twat.'' Liam's voice was low, like the words gave him pain. ''Don't be acting like she don't. 'Cause she does. Can't fucking think why.''  
Noel leaned his head in his hands for a moment, then met Liam's gaze. That look was still there. Liam was watching him with a fierce, possessive light in in his eyes. It was a look that saw right through Noel's skin and bones into his soul. Noel could hear the unspoken meaning in that look. It said, _You're mine. Try running from me, and come back when you're done. You're mine._  
He stood abruptly, feeling his anger dissipating too fast. It was the only thing that would save him now. Save him from the insistent whisper in his head that told him to grab Liam and kiss him and hold onto him until they were both old and useless and dead. The anger was always his only defence. He leaned heavily on the table for a long moment, then turned away.  
''Oi, don't you fuck off now.'' Liam's tone was panicked. ''Don't you fucking dare....''  
The doorbell tinkled as Noel disappeared into the street.

''Fuck, for fucks _sake_ man, bastard. _Bastard._...'' Liam dropped most of the contents of his wallet onto the table and scrambled for the door. The girl behind the counter bobbed her head contentedly to Mumford and Sons, her back to him. He hoped he was dead before he ever stepped foot in that place again.  
A slight figure was hurrying down the road. Liam pulled up his hood and set off at a jog.

**

Noel was firm. ''I'm going home.''  
Rain was now sluicing down off the eaves of the buildings and forming a river down the pavement. Liam tutted.  
''You are fucking not.''  
''I am.''  
''No, you ain't.''  
''Piss off. I am.'' Noel turned away and Liam stepped in front of him, using his height to advantage. He grabbed Noel's hand, running a thumb over his ring finger, where his wedding band should be.  
''Will you listen to me, you prick,'' Liam explained patiently, ''you don't have a home to go to. Don't you get it? You think your big posh house in the sticks is home? Don't give me that.''  
Noel looked up then, his eyes empty as a winter sky. He watched forlornly as Liam waved at a black cab. The rain was getting worse, and he just wanted to go home.

  
He wished he knew where that was.

***

Liam kissed him as soon as the door clicked shut behind them.  
Noel had shuffled uncomfortably on the front step of Liam's house as he'd fumbled with the keys and finally let him in out of the rain. The warmth of the house had comforted his icy nose and hands, and he'd moved to pull his jacket off but Liam was suddenly too close and pushing him firmly against the wall, his mouth eager and hot and far too confident for Noel's liking, even as he kissed back for a split second. Only a second. Maybe a few seconds. The taste of sweet tea lingered on Liam's tongue. Noel could feel his own heart thudding in his chest.  
He pushed his hands flat against Liam's ribs and turned his face away, feeling stubble and warm lips dragging against the skin below his ear. ''Would you not,'' he said softly. ''Not now.''  
''Not now?'' Liam simply leaned his weight against Noel, his chin on his shoulder. ''When, then? Only when you say it's allowed?''  
Noel didn't move. ''Yeah.''  
''Cunt.'' Liam sighed heavily. ''You're a cunt. Always.''  
Noel curled his fists in Liam's rain-soaked coat and nodded. They stood like that for a while, feeling the cold from their wet clothes seep through to their skin, until Liam pulled away and stomped upstairs, banging a door shut a few seconds later. Noel hung his soggy jacket neatly by the radiator.  
In the kitchen, there was a packet of cat treats next to the fridge and trim little containers for different biscuits lined up in the cupboards. The domesticity made his head hurt.  
Preparing two cups of tea should have been simple enough, until the kettle proved to be equipped with several little buttons and dials, none of which seemed to do anything to make the water hot. One of the dials turned endlessly as he fiddled with it. A few lights came on briefly, before disappearing again. ''Fucking piece of...what the fuck, _shit._...'' He tried to prise the lid open and trapped his thumb painfully, before glaring around and seeing Liam leaning in the doorway.  
''Bloody hell.'' Liam's eyebrows flickered up, amused. ''Carry on, this is good stuff.''  
''What is this fucking thing man?'' Noel said, irritably. ''Make it work for us then.''  
''It's a kettle, you daft cunt.'' Liam chuckled. ''You put water in it and...''  
Noel pointed a finger at him. ''Just make it fucking work, smart arse.''  
Liam came and patted his shoulder, ''Fine, y'poor old gimmer. Sit down and I'll fetch your knee blanket and some biscuits, yeah?''  
''You can shove your biscuits,'' Noel folded his arms primly, ''up your arse. And I'll take one sugar.''  
''Prick.''  
''Twat.''

They took the tea into the living room. The silence hung heavy around Noel's ears. He fiddled with a fluffy cushion next to him. Liam watched him curiously.  
''So is Debbie imaginary or something?'' Noel hadn't intended to sound so sarcastic. ''Seems like she's never here.''  
Liam looked thoughtful for a while. ''She's working,'' he said eventually, ''she's in Manchester. Label stuff.''  
''Convenient, that.'' Noel tried to remember a time when everything he said didn't make him sound like a snide bastard. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

  
''Ah, shut up,'' Liam said dismissively, ''snide bastard.'' Noel flinched. _Get out of my head_ , he thought, helplessly. He took a breath; deciding what he was going to say. It was time to explain what he needed to do. To say to Liam; _I'm going home, to try to patch things up in real life, where I belon_ g.....  
What he actually said was; ''you remember that Scotland gig? Loch Lomond?''  
Liam looked confused. ''Ours?''  
''Yes, ours. The one when...''  
''Yeah, 'course I fucking remember.'' Liam's face was unhappy now, his brows drawn tight over his eyes. ''What about it?''  
Noel scratched his nose. ''I dunno, it was just....it popped into my head one day and, and, well...Well I wrote that bloody song about it I think.''  
''Inspired, were you, darling?'' Liam drawled the words sardonically, and Noel laughed.  
''Yes. Yes I was, and don't I fucking regret it now?''  
Liam stretched his legs out in front of him and shrugged. ''That was a fucking miserable weekend. Hope it ain't a miserable song.''  
''Don't be a...'' Noel started, but Liam suddenly cut him off, his eyes hard.  
''That was when you started becoming a massive cunt, you know that?''  
Noel was taken aback. ''Eh?''  
''That day, that was when you proper started to shit yourself, ennit?'' Liam leaned back, staring up at the ceiling. ''I'll never forget that, man. Never forget. You're a fucking cold bastard when you're scared ....'' he paused, ''and that was the first time you really got the fear.....''  
He glanced sideways at Noel and quirked an eyebrow. ''I'm right, ain't I?''  
''You're always right, Liam.'' Noel's tone was neutral.  
''Nah, come on, don't be like that,'' Liam persisted. ''It used to drive me fucking crackers man. I mean, fuck me, it still does....how you could keep on saying everytime was the last time.'' He closed his eyes. ''It was always the last time, right Noely? Always the last time 'til fucking Captain Noely G decided it wasn't.''  
Noel stared out of the window, silent. Liam continued, his voice low. ''Was all just the build up to Germany though, weren't it? You was just practicing at being a bastard until then,'' he laughed, the sound harsh and painful. ''I'm glad the penny's dropped with your missus, but fuck me, it's took her long enough, the silly cow.''  
''Don't call her that,'' Noel warned, ''don't.....don't call her _anything_ , ok?''  
''Well she was,'' Liam was unfazed. ''Believing all that shit.''

  
They were both quiet. Remembering. The night in 2002; Liam's face white with rage as Noel explained that Sara was staying on the tour with them. How Noel had stammered over his words when Liam had threatened to smash the whole hotel to peices if he didn't get the truth. How Noel had finally looked him in the eyes and told him what Sara believed, the lies that he had strung together, the lies he had told about Liam. The despair in Liam's eyes before he'd bolted from the room, to find the nearest bar and end up bloodied and battered by the end of the night.

  
''Never forgave you for that,'' Liam was still musing, his eyes shut, ''picking her instead of me.''  
Noel glanced over at him. ''What, it didn't bother you when I threw you under the bus, w-with a fucking ton of slander?''  
''Nah,'' Liam said quietly, ''what else would've convinced her? I know why you said it.''  
Noel shook his head, stunned for a moment. ''You're off your nut, you are.''  
''Yeah. Whatever. But you picked _her_. I'll never forgive that, you cunt.'' Liam opened his eyes, staring directly into Noel's. The words echoed in Noel's skull, sounding more like _I'll never stop loving you_. He looked back steadily; a harsh, vivid image coming to him, unbidden; how wide and bright those blue eyes became when Liam was under him, tight and hot around Noel's cock and so, _so_ beautiful....

  
He took a gulp of tea and looked away, his skin tingling uncomfortably. Where in hell had that come from?  
''Well, you're alright here, with Debbie. She's taking care of you.'' He stood and moved to look out onto the tidy garden. ''Look at you, you're living the good life.''  
''True,'' Liam said, slowly, ''she's good for me. Healthy, normal, all that good stuff.''  
''Exactly, she's great,'' Noel voice sounded faraway in his own ears, ''it's the way things should be, right? Healthy.''  
''Well-adjusted.'' The sarcastic lilt in Liam's voice was too slight for Noel to notice.  
''Yeah. Sara's the same for me,'' he continued, not looking around, ''and....and it's best that way, let's be honest. We're fucking grown ups, we can't be living like we're kids still.....''  
''True.'' Liam repeated the word behind him, almost making Noel jump. He was standing just too close, close enough for Noel to feel his breath on the nape of his neck. ''Debbie's amazing. She makes me a better person. Being away from you makes me a better person,'' Noel frowned slightly at this but Liam ignored him, ''....and Sara makes you a better person, yeah? You're happier without me, and life's just perfect, and we ain't kids anymore, right?'' As he spoke, Liam tipped his head lower, his nose almost touching Noel's hair.  
''Right.'' Noel's held himself as still as a statue, arms tight across his chest.  
Liam's whisper was soft against Noel's neck. ''Right.''

Noel slowly turned to face Liam; who simply wrapped his arms around his shoulders, warmth settling into his skin. Their bodies fit flush together, too close and not close enough. He rubbed his eyes. ''Fuck,'' he muttered, ''why can't I ever just...''  
''Doesn't matter,'' Liam tightened his grip and slid a hand up into Noel's hair. ''Shut the fuck up. Please...'' Then Noel's mouth was on his, kissing him with fierce intensity, enough to knock the air from Liam's body and leave him lightheaded. He pulled his brother closer and tried to catch the trace of unspoken words that lay sugar-sweet on Noel's tongue.  
It was always a shock to Noel; the way Liam would open his mouth and allow him in, so docile and willing. The softness of Liam's tongue, warm and silky against his. Liam's shuddering breaths as he began to kiss back in earnest. This version of his brother that no one else in the world ever saw, ever knew about, ever imagined.  
 _How could you leave him?_ The thought was loud in Noel's head. _How did you live without this?_

  
''C'mon. Off,'' there was no gentleness to his touch when he dragged Liam's shirt up and over his head. Pale skin burned hot against his lips as he placed open-mouthed kisses down past Liam's collarbone and over his chest. Liam didn't flinch as Noel clutched at his sides, fingernails pressing hard against his ribs, leaving faint pink marks behind.  
''You too,'' Liam's voice sounded like shards of glass crumbling. ''Come here,'' he fought haphazardly with the buttons on Noel's shirt, until it was pushed aside and abandoned on the floor. Noel hissed at sharp teeth sinking into the soft point between his shoulder and his throat. ''Fuck, _bastard_...'' he trailed off as Liam soothed over the bite mark with his tongue, his hands tracing lines over taut stomach muscles, down to Noel's waist; then fumbling at his belt buckle. It felt like Noel's breath was drawn too tight in his chest, but then Liam was shoving a hand gracelessly into the front of his boxers and gripping his cock just a little too hard and all the air rushed from his lungs at once.  
The room was still, apart from the sounds of their breathing. Noel rested his forehead against Liam's shoulder, almost biting his tongue at the feeling of his brother's hand around his cock, stroking him to hardness, rough and desperate. Liam nudged his hips against him and groaned lowly. ''S'ok,'' it sounded like Liam was trying to reassure himself, as much as Noel, ''It's alright, Noely, just...please..want you..''

  
Noel pushed closer with a moan that should have made him blush. Liam was hard, he could feel it pressed against him through his jeans, every shift of their bodies making them both shudder. Noel ran his hands over Liam's back, feeling his fingers move smoothly over a sheen of sweat and tense muscles, before slipping them under his waistband and pressing hard into the tender flesh of his arse, pulling him forward. Liam grunted, pressing his face against Noel's hair. His thumb traced a swirl against the underside of Noel's cock, sliding up and over the tip; the friction making Noel's breath stutter, his eyes squeezed shut. ''Fucking...hell,'' Noel's words were slow, barely audible, ''want to...'' He tucked his face into the crook of Liam's neck and rolled his hips up into his fist, breathing hard, ''w-want to fuck you....''  
''Yeah,'' Liam was quiet, distant, ''I know.'' Noel hummed softly, digging his fingertips into Liam's skin. Then suddenly he huffed out a laugh, shaky and muffled against Liam's neck. Liam pulled away slightly, frowning. ''What?''  
Noel shook his head. ''Cocky bastard,'' he said, his words ending in a groan as Liam tugged a little too harshly on his cock.  
''Shut up,'' Liam scowled, loosening his hold and pulling his hand away, making Noel sigh at the loss of contact, ''I didn't mean -''  
Noel kissed him again, a thumb tracing up Liam's throat and over his jaw. Liam held himself still as they breathed together, his tongue slow and warm in Noel's mouth. It was dangerous, Noel knew; too gentle, too tender. Too much. His heart ached in his chest as he pulled away. ''Sorry,'' he murmured, not really sure what he was apologising for, ''I know, I'm sorry.'' He was achingly hard. His left hand traced absently over the front of Liam's jeans.

  
Liam patted his head, dragging fingernails through his hair and down the nape of his neck. His eyes were dark as he stepped away, leaving Noel feeling cold. ''See you upstairs then.'' The words were confident, but Liam's voice had trembled slightly, the uncertainty clear in his tone.

  
Noel stood alone in the painfully ordinary living room. He felt vaguely silly as he fastened the button on his trousers. The taste of Liam lingered in his mouth. The sound of a tap running in the bathroom drifted downstairs. He knew Liam was trying to assert some control here; testing him, just to see if he would lower himself to follow after Liam like a dog. But Noel also knew he was being given an out, a chance to leave before it was too late. Before he stepped back into his old self, the self he'd spent nearly a decade trying to leave behind.  
''B _eing away from you makes me a better person_.'' Liam had said it like his heart was breaking. But it was true.

Noel's conscience was sensible and cool as always. _You're bad for him. He's bad for you. You're too old for this shit. Sara still loves you_....

  
Listening to his conscience had never been Noel's strong point.

A few moments later, he leaned in the doorway of the bedroom, watching Liam at the end of the bed. Shirtless and barefoot, he looked strangely lost in the pristine, monochrome room,  
Neither spoke. It felt awkward, stilted. Noel had a moment of doubt, suddenly wondering what he was doing here. ''Liam...''  
''I know,'' Liam interrupted. Noel's brow furrowed in irritation. But Liam continued, oblivious. ''I know. We're different, ennit. Everything's different.''  
Noel went and sat next to him on the bed. ''Yeah. Maybe, I- I dunno'' He was too aware of being shirtless and chilly. Aware of Liam's bare chest with the trail of dark hair leading down into his jeans, the soft flesh of his belly, the tattoo on his arm that Noel had always hated. Aware of the nagging desire lurking somewhere behind his ribs, persistant as ever.  
''Old, is what we are'' Liam chuckled mirthlessly, ''we're old and changed and it's giving me the fucking heebie jeebies to be fucking honest, y'know?''  
''We've not changed that much,'' Noel said, ''I'm still a cunt and you're still barking mad.''  
''That supposed to make me feel better?''  
''Yeah, something like that.''  
Liam sighed. ''Just old then, are we? Old bastards. Fucking mega.''  
Noel moved, brushed the back of his knuckles over Liam's chest, the hair sharp and coarse under his touch. ''You ain't gone grey yet, you miserable git,'' he pointed out, ''cheer up.''  
''True,'' Liam brightened slightly. He poked Noel's ribs, then scratched lightly above his navel at the mixed dark and grey hair there. Noel watched, silent, holding his breath. Liam softly smoothed his hand out, palm flat against Noel's skin, his arm held at an awkward angle across them. It was oddly soothing, the warmth of Liam's big, clumsy hand resting so gently over Noel's stomach - _like I'm some bird he's knocked up_ , he mused, almost wanting to laugh. He placed his hand over Liam's, his lips quirking up. ''Twins,'' he said, ''boy and a girl.''  
Liam grinned broadly, a glint in his eyes. ''Still funny, ain't ya.'' He didn't move his hand.  
''Yeah,'' Noel's thumb traced circles over Liam's wrist. ''And you're still....'' he paused, tried to catch his mouth, suddenly appalled at himself; ''...y-you're beautiful.'' The word was out before he could stop it.  
 _Nice one, idiot_ , his brain murmured. He reddened and looked away.

  
Liam's eyes were hazy blue as he shifted back and began to unbuckle his belt. He moved casually, his eyes fixed on Noel's face; but his hands were shaking.  
Noel's mouth felt dry. ''Liam...''  
Liam stood abruptly and shoved his jeans and boxers down over his ankles, kicking them into a heap. He was half-hard already. Noel swallowed, staring uselessly at that too-familiar body, exposed and pale and intimately close. The clawing need, and want; it almost made him feel sick, turning his stomach upside down. Then Liam leaned in close and pressed his mouth close to his brother's ear.  
'' _Now_ ,'' he whispered, ''please.''

When Liam was spread under him, his hand grasped loosely round his cock, Noel couldn't remember what he'd been afraid of. The feeling was still the same, the dizzying warmth at seeing Liam, frowning and concentrated, waiting for Noel to fuck him. It really was simple, sometimes. Noel couldn't always make sense of things these days, working out who to listen to, who to please, where to turn next. But this, this would always be simple; Liam's long legs wrapped around Noel's hips, his cock flushed and hard, Noel's tongue tracing a pattern over delicate skin. He dropped the little container on the bed, the lube feeling cool on his fingers. He could see Liam tensing when he brushed two wet fingers over his hole, the heat there making Noel's cock twitch with anticipation. Liam shifted to spread his legs a little further apart, then shuddered as Noel pressed his forefinger inside, tentatively, slowly. He moaned softly, watching Noel dip his head to kiss the inside of his thigh, pushing his finger in deeper. ''Y-yeah...c'mon...'' he sounded fucked out already and should have been embarrassed but then Noel added a second finger and changed his angle slightly, dragging another moan from his lips.

  
''Fuck.'' Noel was hushed, ''fuck, you're tight.''  
Liam squeezed his eyes shut and dragged his fist once over his cock. ''Been l-long enough, y'fucker.''  
Noel hummed in response, trying to ignore the flush of warmth in his chest. ''No one else?'' He sounded petty, he knew. ''You-''  
''...'course no one else,'' Liam's reply was instant. His eyes were hooded as he gazed up at Noel. ''It's...'' he paused and hissed softly as Noel spread his fingers, ''....'s only you.''  
Noel felt the same thrill, the one he'd been running from for years. That fucked up, twisted power rush; that came from knowing that Liam would always give him this. Only him. His brother's needy, maddening adoration would always defeat him; and leave him guilty and aroused and hopelessly in love.

  
Liams' eyes were dark, just a line of blue around blown pupils, and he was stroking himself with every slide of Noel's fingers in him.  
''Stop that.'' Noel batted Liam's hand away from his cock, warningly. Liam opened his mouth, about to retort, then gasped as Noel gripped hold of his hip and curled a finger deep inside him. ''Christ, fuck....'' he moved his hand, holding onto Noel's arm, fingers digging in painfully, ''fuck, you need, need to just...'' his voice trailed off.  
''I-I know'' Noel reached for the tub of lube at his side. His cock was aching, the lube going on cold and making him wince. He stroked himself a few times, trailing his other hand down Liam's stomach, over his cock, cupping his balls and feeling the slick wetness behind them. Liam sighed a little at the touch, his eyes closed.  
''It's going to hurt,'' Noel muttered, ''d'you...''  
Liam shook his head. ''Won't. 'S okay,'' he opened his eyes and propped himself up on one elbow, reaching for Noel's face. Noel let himself be pulled into a kiss. ''... better like this,'' Liam murmured against his mouth, ''kiss me, it won't hurt as bad.''  
Noel pressed the tip of his cock against the cleft of Liam's arse and kissed back, his tongue slow and deliberate, feeling Liam's shallow breaths in his mouth. ''Daft old romantic, ain't you,'' he said, almost moaning from the sensation against his cock. Liam's lips quirked up, and he lowered his head to lick along Noel's jaw. ''Nah,'' he said, his voice ragged, ''shut up. Just, please...''

  
Noel had almost forgotten how it felt, that impossibly tight slide around his cock when he pushed inside Liam. How his brother would groan, and tense up instinctively, before breathing hard and letting Noel slip all the way in. He'd almost forgotten how Liam would relax as he kissed him; letting him push his legs higher, further apart, giving him everything. How time would crawl to a stop as they fucked, like they were they only things left in the universe.  
''Jesus, Liam,'' Noel felt like he was burning up, his pulse thudding in his ears. Liam's arms were wrapped snugly around his neck, as if he was afraid he would fall if he let go. Silky precome was smeared between them, Liam shivering at the friction of Noel's stomach against his cock. He was gasping now, desperate sounds dragged up from deep in his chest at each thrust of Noel's cock, incoherent words whispered into the quiet room. ''C'mon, c'mon.....yeah...fuck, Noel....missed you...missed...''

  
Noel fumbled blindly between their bodies, his fingers still sticky with lube, feeling Liam push against him; his cock slipping into Noel's fist like it was the most natural thing in the world. He stroked him quickly and urgently, attempting to find a rhythm between them. The wet sound of skin on skin was loud in his ears. He could hear himself moaning; jagged, needy sounds like it was the first time he'd fucked anyone, ''...god, oh god, feels good, you feel good... Liam, fuck...'' little sparks of heat were darting through his body, flooding out in the pit of his stomach, ''....so good..''  
''Say it,'' Liam sounded pleading, ''go on, _fuck....say-say it_.'' His body was tense, mouth open as he panted, his breath hot on Noel's neck.  
''...'s perfect,'' Noel spoke slowly, trying to piece together the jumble of words in his head, ''fucking perfect, so good.'' He pulled himself away slightly, watching Liam's eyes become glassy as they fixed on the sight of Noel's hand, wet and messy around his cock. ''Y-you're so good, Liam.....''  
He hadn't forgotten how Liam reacted to that, the easy power he had to tip Liam over the edge with those words. Because fuck, Noel knew how good Liam was, but Liam would always need to hear it, always wait to be reassured, always do anything to drag those words from Noel's mouth. So he cursed himself for ever leaving all this behind; and whispered the words again, then shifted the angle of his hips in a way that made Liam shudder.

  
Liam came quietly, his breath sucked in sharply and every muscle taut as his cock pulsed in Noel's hand, white streaks splattering across his stomach. As his body went slack, he groaned out loud, a cry of relief and pleasure. He covered his face with his hand and let out a shaky breath as Noel pressed his mouth against his neck. Noel could feel the heat in his belly creeping down through his cock. He grunted softly at the tug of fingers in his hair, his hips bucking faster, pushing deeper until he was moaning and gasping Liam's name, coming in spurts inside him, the tight heat almost too much around his cock. His eyes drooped shut, suddenly exhausted, as Liam's mouth covered his softly for a fleeting second.  
Noel could feel sweat cooling on his back, prickly and uncomfortable. He shifted his weight, trying to be careful as he slid his cock out wetly, leaving a slick of come and lube to drip down Liam's arse onto the plush,expensive bed covers. He couldn't bring himself to lift his head, tucked against his brother's shoulder, his body feeling heavy as he half rolled off him. Liam chest rose and fell steadily under his hand, their breaths slowing together.

  
''Here,'' Liam was reaching to the bedside table, then wiping a tissue between them. Soon he was tucking something around Noel's shoulders, a fleecy blanket of some sort. Noel silently let him fuss. It felt oddly normal. They lay still for a while, fighting the sleep that threatened to drag them under. Eventually, Noel spoke, his voice rough.  
''I'm sorry.''  
He didn't know what he was saying sorry for. Maybe the years of absence, or the lifetime of fighting and fucking and never being normal, or just the lies; he wasn't sure.  
Liam scratched his chin, the stubble sounding raspy in Noel's ear. He was quiet for a long time.  
''Yeah. And me.''  
Noel nodded tiredly. ''Yeah.''  
''Go to sleep.'' Liam rested his hand on his chest, his fingers brushing Noel's jaw.  
''Yeah.''

The cat meowed out on the landing, impatient for food. Liam felt sleep pulling him down, Noel's warmth seeping through him.

  
Downstairs, on the sofa, Noel's phone buzzed gently. The missed call notification lit up, then a message beeped through. Then silence returned to the house.

  
The caller would have to wait.


End file.
